When I Fail

I hate failing.  I hate failing at anything I attempt no matter what it is.  I think I am like this because I am athletically inclined and can pick up most activities pretty quick so I am not used to putting the hard work necessary to acquire proficiency.

My latest failure hit me pretty hard.  I felt ashamed that I had failed, most because I was so confident I would succeed.  I went about 8 miles up a river and was filming a nature/survival show.  I had all day to collect materials and craft a hand drill set for making fire by friction.  It was evening and I had a few hours before it got dark and I had to make a fire and there was no backup plan for fire.  The purpose of fire was to keep me warm and help ward off mosquitoes.  So, I got to drilling and I started getting smoke.  I knew better than to quit there so I began yelling loudly "DON'T STOP!" to psych myself up.  I repeated it over and over and kept drilling.  By this time smoke was pouring out from the base of the drill but I just kept drilling and drilling until my arms were so fatigued that they were no longer coordinated enough to spin the drill.  My drill fell out of the socket I had burned and the smoke slowly started to fade.  If the smoke stays for a little while it means there's a coal, if not then no coal.  The smoke all faded out and I was left with no coal.  I tried several times, each time failing.  I had some cordage I had made so I tried the bow drill method.  I had finally got it going pretty well until my string broke.  I started feeling hopeless.  At this point I was so exhausted and felt defeated.  I had choice to make.  Do I stay out the rest of the night as planned or do I head back and paddle a few hours through the dark.  If I stayed it meant certain discomfort from the cold and mosquitoes and if I left I had just had to paddle in the dark.  I paddle in the dark all the time for work so I figured it wouldn't be that bad.  I went with the latter option and only ran into one log on the way back.  I'll be honest though, it was one of the creepiest things I've ever gone through.  Moving shadows, weird noises, and the whole kit and caboodle.  I was pretty exhausted after that.

Now what?  I went to shoot a video about the wilderness and survival and stuff and I failed.  I copped out on the second night.  That's so lame.  I've built a friction fire before so why couldn't I do it this time?  It's the most frustrating thing in the world.  I'm supposed to be good at this sort of stuff but it just didn't work out this time!  It made me want to throw in the towel and say screw it.  I even thought for nano-moment about getting a normal job.  However, my purpose in life is to do something great.  I want to change this world in a big positive way.  I think that means I have to fail sometimes but I cannot, under any circumstance, lose my vision and my drive.  When I fail I must keep trying until I master!

Trading

I love trading!  When I got into this primitive archery stuff I vowed never to spend money on natural materials and so far I haven't.  It's a pretty good hobby when you don't have to spend money.  I've really been getting into flint knapping and I'm starting to get confident with it.  My material was getting smaller and smaller and I was slowly but surely reducing it down to a pile of gravel.  I needed some rock and I found myself messaging a man with a good reputation out in Oregon and he wanted an arrow made by me.  He likes to collect arrows from different people that he respects and I was flattered that he wanted one of mine.  So I made an arrow and sent it to him and he must have really liked it because in return I got a huge box of obsidian with a knapped blade included.  I've made 3 points from it so far and I'm really pleased with the material and over time I'm sure I'll get some points that I really like as well.

New "Toy"

My brother texts me and says he found a really good deal.  So I open the link he sent me and it's an 85 Toyota van.  I've been flirting with the idea of getting an old van, stripping out the inside, and making it into a camper van.  When I saw this deal I had one of those moments when I was like, "Crap, I have to act now or this opportunity is gone forever."  So I went out and bought the van that night.  I'm pretty excited  and it's a trip to drive.  I'm sure that excitement will wear off but for now it's just kind of fun to drive.  So far I've stripped everything out of the back  and I'm about ready to start outfitting the inside.  To be honest I'm not too concerned about the color but I have some friends that want to paint it for me so we'll see if I let them.  I kind of like the primer gray.  As of now the plan is to get it outfitted for camping and take it across North America!  I've got some ideas that I'm pretty excited about but I'll update y'all as they're implemented.  This should be interesting :)

Georgia Hogs

My mom's side of the family is from Georgia and my dad's side is from Florida.  I kind of like it that way because it's almost like having a secondary home.  Just before the new years I headed up to Georgia with the goal to hunt and kill a feral pig. There's some family land that's got pigs on it so I wanted to harvest and process one with my primitive bow and arrow and a stone knife, all of which I have made with my own two hands and all the stone worked with antler tools.  

When I got here I was eager to hunt the morning and every single day.   The first morning I got up early and got in the woods before the sun came up.  I stalked through an area that had good wind and I saw nothing.  I spooked one deer when I wasn't paying attention and the wind began to get shifty on me.  I decided to go scout another area and as I headed down the hill I saw a feeder.  There's another guy that hunts that land that traps the pigs.  As I got closer I noticed there were 4 pigs under the feeder.  I was instructed not to shoot pigs under the feeder as the others will get feeder shy and become difficult to trap.  So I watched for a little then decided to see how close I could sneak up on them.  Finally they spooked and ran off into the woods.  I'm not really interested in shooting pigs off of a feeder anyway.  I might as well use a rifle if I'm going to do that.  

I decided I'd come back that evening and hunt back in the woods where I saw them flee.  That way I could get them when they were on their way to their food source.  I waited and waited that evening until I heard some commotion behind me.  The pigs were beginning to move.  They came closer and closer. Behind me and on my right I was covered by two palmettos so I wasn't really visible from those directions. The pigs were so close but I couldn't move until one came around the side or in front of me.  I half expected to feel one sniffing my leg.  Finally one comes up on my right.  Just a few more steps and it would be out in front of the palm frond and I could take my shot.  It stops and sniffs... then turns away from me and walks away.  My heart had been beating almost out of my chest and I wouldn't be too surprised if the pig heard it.   

The following days I continued to hunt but either the wind was finicky or I just wasn't getting myself into the right scenario so I was unsuccessful.  However, it's not all about making the kill.  I still continue to learn and one day I even gathered up a bunch of river cane for arrow shafts.  I found a few rocks that may produce a sharp edge as well.  It was a good time in the woods.  When I get home I will hunt the small game season.  I need to make a kill soon, otherwise all this work in making my primitive bows and arrows is almost useless.

Thanks for reading and I will have some more videos soon.  Until next time, find a new way to appreciate nature!